Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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