dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
