Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He kissed a someone with a penis
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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