I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
