sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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