the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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