He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
