what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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