when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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