hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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