I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
