He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
