I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
