Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
