Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
