listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
