the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
