is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
