i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they're like a gay fantastic four
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
