How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
