I wanna passion pit in your ass
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
