Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
