I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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