im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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