Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her vagine was all disorganized.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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