This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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