if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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