I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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