Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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