So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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