Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq
  Replies (13) Good night (624) Bad night (3573)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock. http://tfl.nu/zr1r
  Replies (15) Good night (3527) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (3172)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit. http://tfl.nu/x6k6
  Replies (33) Good night (7441) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait until you see the roof.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help. (1-978): Wait until you see the roof. http://tfl.nu/itso
  Replies (34) Good night (4546) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered. http://tfl.nu/u71a
  Replies (15) Good night (7443) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/3z7i
  Replies (20) Good night (4462) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs. http://tfl.nu/szq4
  Replies (17) Good night (698) Bad night (2980)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt
  Replies (19) Good night (2729) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry. http://tfl.nu/d5vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age http://tfl.nu/fek2
  Replies (10) Good night (3544) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer? http://tfl.nu/09oa
  Replies (2) Good night (1371) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Wanna skype?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Wanna skype? (1-425): Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no. http://tfl.nu/gc87
  Replies (7) Good night (2395) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ... That's a shower caddy.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx
  Replies (11) Good night (3313) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical. http://tfl.nu/g3fg
  Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (375)

Randomize