My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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