It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there