Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
