This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize