so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
