Walk of Shame. In a state park.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
