Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I believe in your delicious
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
