I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
