Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
