Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
