party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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