ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
