Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am midnight drunk by noon
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
