New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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