I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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