Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
