You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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