Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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