How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
