our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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