is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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