i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
