Don't you send me to vm
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
