im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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