I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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