I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
