We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i out mim tonsoeep
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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