dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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