So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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