So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
