I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize