You can't special order awesome
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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