you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
