I am spending my child support on dildos
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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