OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Come share oat with me in your robe
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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